Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
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