Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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