Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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