Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
