i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
