Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Randomize
