I'm drive I can fine osifer
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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