I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize