would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
two words: eviction party
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I have post one night stand depression
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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