I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize