Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
