He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
