mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
operation harelip BJ is a go
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
