Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
honey bunches of taint.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
