I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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