new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
