Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Randomize
