Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
