haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
false alarm, still single
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