you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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