first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
