Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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