what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
