I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
