Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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