there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
