I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
