I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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