It's Friday. Sex?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
