i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
