Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
