Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
