they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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