i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
