i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
