Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
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