ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
this is an emotional support booty call
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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