all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
