why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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