Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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