Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
