i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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