Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
