Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
