haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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