wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
