We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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