I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
