Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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