so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize