Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
