First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
