i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
