That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
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