Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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