i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
