He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
