I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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