Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Someone came in the potted fern
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
