He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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