well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
