the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
being pregnant is like rehab
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
